A Glass Full of... Fear?

A Glass Full of.... Fear?

    
     Today's post is going to focus on one of the not-so-pretty things in life: fear. If you are living without fear, then you are not living. This Glass is full of fear, and I'll be the first to admit it. Being happy doesn't include a complete lack of fear. In fact, it's impossible to be completely fearless, but it is possible to be courageous. There is a difference between not being afraid, and having the courage to face your fears. I try to live a life that consists of facing, and conquering, every fear that I have.
     In order to illustrate one of these instances, I must back up a few weeks and share a moment of terrifying self discovery. As many of you know due to my previous posts, I ran a marathon last month. This marathon was a wonderful experience and I couldn't be more proud of that accomplishment, but a week after that accomplishment was when I was lead into the said moment of self discovery. I was asked to run in the two mile race at a small JV track meet Zane Trace was hosting. No big deal, right? Just for fun. Wrong.
     The day before the race, I attended track practice to run with the team. Throughout the entire practice, I was overcome with fear and nerves. Towards the end of my workout, I totally freaked. Tears and all. I realized that I was afraid to run in this race. I was afraid of the track. I was afraid that I wasn't fast enough. I thought to myself "Maybe I ran this marathon not to chase my dreams, but to escape my fear." It was only fitting then, that after I had accomplished my greatest dream, I came back to face my greatest fear. I ran the race. I faced my fear. I realized that, in all honesty, the majority of my fears are completely irrational.
     My fear of the track was not a fear of the track, it was a fear of the past. It was a fear of the runner I once was. It was a fear that if I stepped back onto the track, there was a chance that I would turn back into that little freshmen that finished every race in last place, never quite reaching her goal. My fear of the track was an irrational fear, because I am no longer that girl. Once I accepted this truth, I realized that I was allowing this fear to hold me back in other situations as well. I was not pursuing a place on the Wittenberg Cross Country team because I was afraid. I was afraid to once again be that freshman coming in last.
     There comes a time in every one's life when they must decide if they will let their fears hold them back, or if they will go after what they want, regardless of what could happen. I am now a member of the Wittenberg Cross Country team for the Fall season. I decided that my irrational fear of my past isn't worth missing out on a great opportunity. So what if I'm that freshman that comes in last? I'll be one step ahead of all the girls that were too afraid to even try, and most importantly I'll being doing something I love.
     Audrey Hepburn once said "The past, I think, has helped me appreciate the present- and I don't want to spoil any of it by fretting about the future." My past has help me appreciate my present. I appreciate the hard work it took to get to where I am now. If I wasn't, at one point, a freshman getting lapped in the two mile, how would I ever have found the drive to push myself to where I wanted to be, where I am now?
     Some of the best advice I've ever received was so simple to understand, yet sometimes incredibly hard to do. "Fuel your faith, not your fear." In the face of something that terrifies you, will you choose to feed the fear that holds you back, or will you fuel your faith in your abilities, and in the belief that the outcome will be worth it? I hope that every one of you is brave enough to go after what you want, and to face your biggest fears, even it seems like it's already too late.

 

Doodle by Gracie Joosse, my courageous teammate